| hey |
[14 Jul 2007|02:26am] |
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mood |
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 crushed |
] |
I am over at Myspace so I'm never on here
add me!!
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| the tragedy is the ignorance behind the clean casket |
[29 Jan 2006|09:17pm] |
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mood |
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 bitchy |
] |
the worst part about being lied to is knowing you weren't worth-the-truth
every excuse I could ever come up with
is never worth anything to you
you act like I'm your personal savior
but am I?
Do you really care?
Am I your fall back girl
the one you call when you're bored girl?
I'm sorry that I'm not perfect
but I refuse to be your back up bitch
I'm better than that
she knows it, I know it
and you know it damn well too.
I turn 18 tomarrow.....go me
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[29 Dec 2004|03:00pm] |
01. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
02. Am I loveable?
03. How long have you known me?
04. When and how did we first meet?
05. What was your first impression?
06. Do you still think that way about me now?
07. What do you think my weakness is?
08. Do you think I'll get married?
09. What makes me happy?
10. What makes me sad?
11. What reminds you of me?
12. If you could give me anything what would it be?
13. How well do you know me?
14. When's the last time you saw me?
15. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
16. Do you think I could kill someone?
17. Describe me in one word.
18. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?
19. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?
20. Are you going to put this on your LiveJournal and see what I say about you?
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| oh chasing amy |
[21 Dec 2004|04:01pm] |
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"I love you. And not in a friendly way, although I think we're great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I'm sure that's what you'll call it. I love you. Very simple, very truly. You're the epitome of everything I have ever looked for in another human being.I know you think of me as just a friend, and crossing that line is the furthest thing from an option you would ever consider. But I had to say it. I can't take this anymore. I can't stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can't look into your eyes without feeling that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can't talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are. And I know this will probably queer our friendship-no pun intended- but I had to say it, because I've never felt this way before. And, I don't care, I like who I am because of it. And if bringing this to light means we can't hang out anymore, then that hurts me. But God, I just couldn't allow another day to go by without getting it out there, regardless of the outcome, which by the look on your face is to be the inevitable shoot-down. And you know, I'll accept that. But I know that some part of you is hesitating for a moment, and if there is a moment of hesitation, that means you feel something too. And all I ask please is that you just not dismiss that. And try to dwell in it for just ten seconds. Clint, there isn't another soul on this fucking planet who has ever made me half the person I am when I'm with you, and I would risk this friendship for the chance to take it to the next plateau. Because it is there between you and me, you can't deny that. Even if, you know, even if we never talk again after tonight, please know that I am forever changed because of who you are and what you've meant to me, which -while I do appreciate it- I'd never need a painting of birds bought at a diner to remind me of. "
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| I love you so much it hurts to breathe |
[17 Nov 2004|10:00pm] |
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mood |
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 gross! |
] |
saying I love you has nothing to do with meaning it.
update tomarrow.............EW HOLD ON MUST READ THIS!
BEWARE REALLY DISTURBING!!!
( EW!!! )
GROSS! okay it disturbs me to my very soul.
GAH!
Pea©e and Lithium
♥ Your Hairspray Queen
ew ew ew ew ew ew
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| I try my best to feed your appitite |
[16 Nov 2004|09:15pm] |
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mood |
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 my eyes hurt too. |
] |
He's so beautiful to me
but he'll never understand
never get how he can take my whole world
and hold it in the palm of his hand
how he breaks my heart when he breaks our dates
crushes my dreams with empty promises
he'll never get how I want him
how I need him in my life
how I lust for his soul
He will never know my feelings
though I wear them on my sleeve
he's too oblivious to everything I do
I kiss him, I touch him
the way girlfriends do
but he doesn't get it
and neither do you.
did Sarah's hair now it's redder than mine.
Going with Markie, I think tomarrow.....going out with Breanne and Sarah on Thursday.
Called Drew his ex answered and it was awkward.
watched a drug deal go down....
I like Maroon 5...a little too much right now
I also love Courtney Love
I hate posers, and fakes.....like that girl that thinks she's hardcore or whatever....fuck that shit.
I think I'm done for now
Pea©e and Lithium
♥ Your Hairspray Queen
leave me a comment if you read this
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[13 Nov 2004|03:18pm] |
Corey kissed me
yet we are not going out.
but soon......
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[02 Nov 2004|09:24pm] |
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mood |
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 freezing my arse off |
] |
Brody Armstrong is like the version of Courtney Love that everyone hates.
She's only famous because she was married to Tim, and her band sounds amazingly like Hole, she not only looks like Courtney, but she acts like her too.
I dislike that.
I love courtney...hate brody...'nuff said.
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[17 Sep 2004|11:52pm] |
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"Did you ever look, did you ever see that one person,
and the subtle way that they do these things and it hurts so much?
So much like choking down the embers of a great blaze.
It's that moment when your eyes seem to spread aspersions
and to scream confessions at the insipid sky parting clouds.
You let this one person come down in the most perfect moment.
And it breaks my heart to know the only reason you are here now is
A reminder of what I'll never have
I'll never have... I'll never...
Standing so close knowing that it kills me to breathe you in."
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| yeah....I update very infrequently here.....damn me |
[09 Sep 2004|10:10pm] |
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mood |
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 creative |
] |
Lets see.....my week has been eventful
- decided to stop seeing the Brian....for he would not take no for an answer....seriously. (After talking to my mom about him not taking no for no)
- went to Kelly's......hate large groups of people...and random girls gave me and Jenny dirty looks so we left and went to chauncy.
- Bought new flannel
- Corey and I kinda...held hands ::squeals like fangirl:: it made me everso happy..... (I'm a loser I know)
- Jenny bought me a taco for I was angry.....
- I love Green Day.....::sigh::
- and Maroon 5
- We are watching the crucible.....that movie is fucked up.
- we are also watching watergate
- Breanne has mono
- Andrea yelled out loud in first hour "Didn't you kiss her last weekend?!?!?!" I then gave her the death stare.....she was frightend
- Kid in my choir slept with his stepmom.....gross!
- Habben is my loyal subject....okay it's playful....and he's kinda afraid of me. It's all good though.
- Midget still is not back
- I hate Chem...
thats about it
well I am out
Pea©e and Lithium
♥ Your Hairspray Queen
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| I'd give you my heart, if you gave me the truth |
[16 Aug 2004|10:15pm] |
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mood |
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 enthralled |
] |
Well I worked yesterday, alot. Sold stuff
Got called in today worked from noon to 8 so I got a lunch break and I got to go in to the buckle and talk to the really hott Rob ♥ who works there. ::sigh:: he is so pretty. I like him, he is all at purdue though.
So I met a random kid named spencer........boy was he cute, the best blue eyes since kurt cobain. MMMMMMM. He gave me a dime ^_^
Called Dana to come in and work to close. She came in at seven. Talked with her, Ray is being an asshat to a bunch of people apparently. Oh well, Dana likes me now and not the Ray. ^_^
He is still taking me to school...that is until I can drive.
Dustin stopped by to see me, twas a great day. So I want the Rob kid, I think I shall try to get him. MWUAHAHAHA ::hack hack:: ::cough cough::
I helped a girl at Wea find an outfit for school, it was nice of me.
well I am out and off to letterman and then to bed.......then off to school!
Pea©e and Lithium
♥ Your Hairspray Queen
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| ....you told me that you wanted me, you told me you hate me |
[14 Aug 2004|12:18am] |
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mood |
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 restless |
] |
Well lets see today I:
-Woke up early and went over to Brian's for a bit
-Went to Hot Topic got my check'
-Cashed it at walmart
-went back bought a whole hell of alotta stuff
-went to Sarah's
-bought the hair dye with Ali and sarah
-Ali and I then procceded to dye Sarah's hair
-it turned out well
-went to see the movie
-went to culvers
-went to krispy kreme (the light was on ^_^)
-went to sarahs
-went to markies, markie wanted me to come with her to a par-tay, but I obviously didn't.
Random quotes from Brittany Thomas' profile (she just broke up with her b/f so I thought I would put these in.....oh how emo I can be):
I sat there and stared at you.
I just couldn't understand how such an amazing person could be in my life.
And then all of a sudden I got extremely scared.
You kissed me, and told me not to worry, there was no way you'd ever leave me.
I felt a sense of comfort.
I believed you.
That is, until you left"
"He can't just look me straight in the eyes and pretend like I never meant anything to him.
Or can he?"
well I am out...............for now!
Pea©e and Lithium
Your Hairspray Queen
I shall put my shed-u-al up when I am on for a longer amount of time.
Random Survey stolen from: Hannah, who is awesome:
The Ultimate Kissing Survey
Age of first kiss: 14.....sadly
Number of people you've kissed: uh...............about 20
French kissing is: alright........if done right
The worst kind of kiss is: the kind that try to choke you with their tongue
The best kisser you know: hm......Markie
The worst kisser you know: that blake kid
The celebrity you'd like to kiss: Dave Grohl.....mmmm
Friend you would like to kiss: no comment.......besides I would like to do more than that ^_^
Favorite movie kiss: rose and jack in titanic
Do you kiss on the first date? depends.....
Eyes open or closed? closed if I like them, open if I don't
Average number of kisses you get a day: 3-4
Ever kissed a friend's boyfriend or girlfriend? nopers..........nah
The last person you kissed: Have no clue
Best placed to be kissed:
Have you kissed someone of the same sex? damn straight
What about the opposite sex? fuck yes
Do you consider kissing cheating? nope ^_^
The longest you've gone without a kiss: 3 months
The kiss you regret most is: regret what is this thing..?
Kissing in public is: ba-a-a-ad
Tongue rings are: Fucking awesome!
Two girls kissing is: fine
Two guys kissing is: fine
Take The Ultimate Kissing Survey
Get more cool things for your blog at Blogthings
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| I cannot wait for the night to be over |
[12 Aug 2004|11:44pm] |
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mood |
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 content |
] |
I worked yesterday. For a very long time, but I was working with Jamie and Andrew so it was all good, and I was in a very good mood for once so it was all yay! Ray came in and was being all nice and sweet and kept randomly hugging me.....not just once but repetivily. I talked him into taking me to school that way there is no bus, well in the A.M anyways. Then he came in again today but there was this Carrie girl in there whom I hate, and he was being a little bitch boy and considering what day it is he should be very very nice to me on this day......anyways.
Saw Ashley (whom I love) worked with the lovely josh today, registered for school, got a new permit so I can cash my check tomarrow.
My locker is D1121 (so Ash, tell me where yours is)
Earl-i in the mornin' I shall be heading over to Brian's house (around 7:30 so we shall be going back to sleep) then after my mother gets off work...over to Hot Topic to get my check, then to cash le check, then to buy all my crap at the Hot Topic, such as my purse........and ROCK T'S!!!!!!!
Then over to Sarah Barlows house to dye her hair then off to the movies with the ladies to go and see.....THE PRINCESS DIARIES 2!! oh yes of course.....oh how girlie my girls are.
well I am out
Pea©e and Lithium
♥ Your Hairspray Queen
I just realized that I only get really mad, like hardcore angry...when I'm around Ray.....wow that sucks
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| Throw it all away........ |
[11 Aug 2004|01:58pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 complacent |
] |
I am bored.
Random update.
Never met a girl like her before
by: Flogging Molly
I would wrap the world in clover
But you make me see my way
And I would die for you tomorrow
Would you come to me today?
Sing a song of sadness about the girl with the happy face
And dance upon the water with a ripple or a trace
Love is here any cloud in the sky
Would you be my flushing bride?
I don't think so
But I never met a girl like,
I never met a girl like,
I never met a girl like you before
I'd climb the highest mountain
To the sunrise from your face
Light a million candles
To flicker to your name
Scream aloud with vengeance
With the wind beneath my breath
Do you understand the madness?
Do you recognize the grace?
Love is here any cloud in the sky
Would you be my flushing bride?
I don't think so
But I never met a girl like
I never met a girl like
I never met a girl like
I never met a girl like you before,
Oh no I never met a girl like you before
Oh no I never met a girl like you before
I'd surely die and liro
Waiting for your every call
Will I ever see your sunshine?
When I'm done playing it all
A boy with no companion
Lost for baby blue
Words more then mean it
When they count for one like you
Love is here any cloud in the sky
Would you be my flushing bride?
I don't think so
But I never met a girl like
I never met a girl like
I never met a girl like
I never met a girl like you before,
Oh I never met a girl like
Never met a girl like
Never met a girl like you before
Oh no I never met a girl like you before
Oh no I never met a girl like you before
Oh no I never met a girl like you before
such boredom. Such a random journal, a random journal which only has one purpose...so I can say I'm stalking ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=88.8) kurdtkobain52 which is my clint. For I am his biggest fan, and queen of all the Clint groupies.
well I am now off to get ready for my workness
Short Stories with Tragic Endings
by:
From Autumn To Ashes
Here you stand seething with guilt.
Silence only justifies this act of cowardice.
The look stapled on your face cries out for forgiveness,
the one thing that I cannot give.
(Did you ever see that one person
and the way they do these things
and it hurts you so much it's like choking choking choking
down the embers)
I can give you freedom from your guilt,
with a flick of my wrist onto yours.
I can give you peace of mind with a forced smile.
I can give you death with the look upon my face.
This is your freedom in a life of fallacy,
with no last kiss and no regrets;
you don't deserve good bye.
This is your freedom in a life of fallacy,
with no last kiss and no good bye.
Here you stand seething with guilt.
Silence only justifies this act of cowardice.
With a short story, the one you add to daily, you are the tragic loss.
No story book ending for this fairy tale of you.
Just the one composed with blood taken from your pen that you hold in your
lifeless hand.
Cry for you. Shed tears. Mourn. Wish the end.
Cry for you. Shed tears. Mourn. Wish the end.
(Did you ever look, did you ever see that one person,
and the subtle way that they do these things and it hurts so much?
So much like choking down the embers of a great blaze.
It's that moment when your eyes seem to spread aspersions
and to scream confessions at the insipid sky parting clouds.
You let this one person come down in the most perfect moment.
And it breaks my heart to know the only reason you are here now is
A reminder of what I'll never have
I'll never have... I'll never...
Standing so close knowing that it kills me to breathe you in.
Standing so close knowing that it kills me to breathe you in.
But this table for one has become bearable.
I now take comfort in this, and for this, I cherish you.
Did you ever look, did you ever see that one person
and the subtle way that they do these things and it hurts so much?
So much like choking down the embers of a great blaze.
It's that moment when your eyes seem to spread aspersions
and to scream confessions at the insipid sky parting clouds.
And you let this one person come down, come down.
I cherish you...I cherish you.
Just say you would do the same for me.
Just say you would do the same for me.
Say you would do the same...
Just say you would do the same for me.
For as much as I love Autumn,
I'm giving myself to Ashes.)
Pea©e and Lithium
♥ Your Hairspray Queen
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[02 Aug 2004|02:53pm] |
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I've been so alone for so long
Forgotten by the world
Forgotten to myself
Your effervescent eyes have awakened me
And brushed the dust away
But I knew you'd never stay
So I memorized the color of your eyes as I lost myself inside you
And I memorized the way our legs entwined as I drifted off beside you
I miss
God I miss
Waking up beside you
At night I cling to you, I'm so afraid
Afraid the day will come
And I'll wake and find you gone
But you promised that you'd not abandon me
And kissed my fears away
But I woke up to that day
But I had memorized the way our eyes
would meet reflected in the bathroom mirror
And I memorized your naked silhouette as you slowly brushed your hair
I miss
God I miss
Waking up beside you
I've been so alone for so long
I forgot how much it hurts
To wake up so alone
But I memorized how warm your body felt
as you lay half asleep beside me
And I memorized the way the sunlight
filled the room and played upon your body
I miss
God I miss
Waking up beside you
I miss
God I miss
Waking up beside you
Corey: I LOVE AMANDA!
how I like him ::sigh::
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[25 Jul 2004|11:00pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 contemplative |
] |
New Journal.....have no idea what to put in here yet but yeah.
Hey you, you're way ahead of me
You're drunk on apathy
You burned right out
Hey you, you're just a cripple now
They sell for millions now
They sold you out
Oh, I had to tell them you were gone
I had to tell them they were wrong
And now they're playing your song
Hey you, dont take it out on me
You're bored on apathy
You burned right out
Hey you, so bored and cynical
It's fucking wonderful, they sold you out
Oh, they've bought and sold it all its gone
They've taken it and built a mall
And now they're playing your song
Oooh, their innocence tastes like candy, yeah
Get so fat on it, its a tragedy, yeah
Oooh, I can help you come to me yeah
Just bring your innocence to me, yeah
Hey you, don't you dare blame me
You trusted everything
They sold you out
It's just so mean and cruel
They sold you out
Well I am out for now.
Pea©e and Lithium
♥ Your Hairspray Queen
I am stalking Clint Cook with much vengence.....I ♥ You!
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